Oct14WedOctober 14, 2020
Stacy & Lynn (pseudonyms) visited our church for a few weeks in 2003. The two young women had hardened faces, ‘butch’ haircuts, and dressed like men. Lynn walked with a noticeable limp, like something congenital. It was evident to me (it’s a pastor thing, I can’t explain it) that both women were in deep emotional pain. They asked to meet with me. Sensing what this might be about, I asked two of our elders to join us.
Both women told incredibly sad stories of abuse, sexual and otherwise, from fathers, ex-husbands, and relatives. They asked me to officiate a wedding for them.
The elders and I carefully and gently explained the gospel. We explained God’s plan for marriage from the Gospels. We welcomed them to worship with us at any time. I explained that we often try to get our needs met and our injuries healed in sinful ways, that the path to healing begins with repentance and walking with Jesus.
When I finished, Lynn said, “So, will you perform a ceremony for us?”
“No, I can’t, I’m sorry. It would be wrong.” I said.
“Ok. Well, we’ll be going now.”
I want to say that Lynn and Stacy gave their lives to Jesus that day. But they didn’t. They did have an encounter with gentle, respectful, loving men who were free to share the gospel of repentance and faith in Jesus' name with them. We planted the seed, and I believe it will yet bear fruit.
I told that story in June 2004, in a sermon based on Matthew 19:1-6 on the gospel and public policy. I concluded by saying, “If same-sex marriage becomes the law of the land, what we shared that day may well become illegal and punishable by law.”
In Virginia, that day has come. The Virginia Values Act became law on July 1. According to Alliance Defending Freedom, the law “poses severe threats to churches, Christian schools, and other religious ministries that operate consistently with their beliefs on marriage and human sexuality. Under the law, they face a choice: abandon their biblical beliefs or face investigations, lawsuits, fines of up to $100,000 per violation, unlimited legal fees, and court orders forcing them to violate their convictions.”
The law also “prevents religious schools from limiting admittance to those students and families who share their religious beliefs. And ministries that offer sex-specific accommodations—such as an overnight women’s shelter—must allow males who identify as women access to female-only areas.”
Further, the law makes it illegal for any pastor or church to explain our beliefs even on our website. For example, under current Virginia law, my essay, I’M NOT GAY AND YOU PROBABLY AREN’T EITHER, written to help young men with same-sex attraction sort through their confusion and find God’s best path, is now illegal.
LGBTQ and same-sex marriage advocates argue that we are just trying to force our religion on everyone else. So, as an evangelical pastor, I want to make something clear. Bad things have come from the malpractice of Biblical Christianity in this country. Christians mistreated some people with same-sex attraction. In large part due to the outcry of people in the LGBTQ community, many of us who consider ourselves to be Biblical Christians have become aware of this. We have had some “come to Jesus moments” about how we treat homosexual people. I am glad that they spoke out, and I apologize for the pain we have caused. Many Christians are now attempting to build bridges of understanding to the LGBTQ community. We will never fully agree on everything, but we agree that belittling and bullying one another isn’t helpful.
But none of that negates the fact that same-sex marriage is not only contrary to God’s design but also and unsurprisingly, bad for civilization. The landmark study on this topic by Sociologist Mark Regnerus of the University of Texas, Austin, titled, The New Family Structure Study (NFSS), was praised for its rigorous adherence to the scientific method and its sampling size.
A summary of its key findings:
Compared with offspring from married, intact mother/father homes, children raised in same-sex homes are markedly more likely to:
- Experience poor educational attainment
- Report overall lower levels of happiness, mental and physical health.
- Have impulsive behavior
- Be in counseling or mental health therapy (2xs)
- Suffer from depression (by large margins)
- Have recently thought of suicide (significantly)
- Identify as bisexual, lesbian, or gay
- Have male on male or female on female sex partners (dramatically higher)
- Currently, be in a same-sex romantic relationship (2x to 3x more likely)
- Be asexual (females with lesbian parents)
- As adults, be unmarried; much more likely to cohabit
- As adults, more likely to be unfaithful in married or cohabiting relationships
- Have a sexually transmitted infection (STI)
- Be sexually molested (both inappropriate touching and forced sexual act)
- Feel relationally isolated from bio-mother and -father (Although lesbian-parented children do feel close to their bio-mom – not surprisingly – they are not as close as children with a bio-mom married to father)
- Be unemployed or part-time employed as young adults
- As adults, currently, be on public assistance or sometime in their childhood
- Live in homes with lower income levels
- Drink to get drunk
- To smoke tobacco and marijuana
- Spend more time watching TV
- Have frequency of arrests
- Have pled guilty to minor legal offense
When Christians advocate for something in the public square, we do it out of love for others and the country's good. Those who disagree should make better arguments. Instead, they are using legislation that threatens financial ruin to shut down all who disagree. And that is nothing less than tyranny.
The good news is that the law is unconstitutional on several levels. ADF, on behalf of Calvary Road Baptist Church, Community Fellowship Church, Community Christian Academy, and Care Net filed a preemptive suit challenging the law. Hopefully, this will work out in the courts.
But that lawsuit would not be necessary if Virginia’s Christians had been paying attention and voting their values in the 2017 election. Our negligence gave us a one-party rule, and the Virginia Values Acts is one of many bad results. Our local delegate, James Edmunds, said, “They have undone in one session what took us twenty years to build.” Too many stayed home. I hope that doesn’t happen this go around.